Why You're Not Stuck, You're Just Scared (And How to Get Activated)
Earlier in my career….I was sitting in my car an hour early for the biggest interview of my life, wearing a borrowed suit with the tags still on because I couldn't afford it. I had $36 in my bank account and absolutely no clue what I was doing.
But here's what I've learned since: I wasn't stuck. I was terrified. And there's a massive difference.
Here's the problem: We confuse being stuck with being scared.
When we say we're "stuck," we make it sound permanent. Like we're trapped by circumstances beyond our control. But most of the time? We're not stuck at all.
We're just scared to take the next step.
And fear disguised as "being stuck" will rob you of every opportunity that matters.
Why "stuck" thinking keeps you paralyzed:
1. It makes you passive. When you believe you're stuck, you wait for something external to change. When you realize you're scared, you understand the power is in your hands.
2. It focuses on what you can't control. Stuck thinking obsesses over obstacles. Activated thinking asks: "What's one action I can take right now?"
3. It treats fear as a stop sign instead of information. Fear isn't telling you to stop. It's telling you this matters. It's telling you you're about to grow.
What you need instead: The Activated Framework.
the four stages every breakthrough requires:
1. Find the Core Issue: Stop solving surface problems. Ask "why" five times until you get to what's really holding you back. Usually, it's not what you think.
2. Take Courageous Action: Not reckless action. Courageous action. One step toward the person you're becoming, even when you can't see the whole staircase.
3. Navigate the In-Between: This is where most people quit. You've left what was comfortable but haven't arrived at what's next. The discomfort you feel? That's growth, not failure.
4. Accelerate What's Possible: When you push through the in-between, opportunities that were invisible before suddenly appear everywhere. This is where magic happens.
The breakthrough insight: You're not stuck. You're just at the edge of your comfort zone, and your brain is trying to keep you safe.
But safety isn't the goal. Growth is,
That interview I mentioned? I got the job. It was the beginning of my tech career at Microsoft. Not because I was qualified (I wasn't), but because I stopped treating my fear as evidence I shouldn't try.
I asked myself: "Not how, but who?" Who could help me prepare? Who could give me insight? Who had been where I wanted to go?
One borrowed suit and a rewritten resume later, my entire life changed.
Why I created the "Activated Leader" newsletter:
After leading teams at Microsoft, Google, Oracle, and EMC, I've coached thousands of people through this exact process. The pattern is always the same:
The moment you stop saying "I'm stuck" and start saying "I'm scared," everything changes.
So I built something different.
Every week, you get real tools for moving from scared to activated:
The exact questions that reveal your core issues
Stories from people who've navigated their own fear
Frameworks for taking courageous action in your specific situation
A community that understands courage isn't the absence of fear—it's action despite fear
Stop being stuck. Start getting activated:
Think about one area where you feel "stuck."
Now be honest: Are you actually stuck, or are you scared to take the next step? Share what you discover in the comments—sometimes naming the fear is what dissolves its power.
