Every holiday, people post gratitude lists while quietly drowning in expectations, exhaustion, and the pressure to “hold it all together.” Last year, a client called me from the frozen aisle at Whole Foods—crying between the turkeys and ice cream—because she was hosting a Thanksgiving she didn’t want. She’s not alone. Whether at home or at work, we perform gratitude instead of honoring what we actually need. This season, remember: you’re allowed to choose rest over performance.